Given to See

A few months ago when my Mom was on a plane, mid-flight, a thought struck her that has now struck me today like a ton of bricks. As she was sitting in her cramped seat, reading a book, she heard her neighbor ask for a cup of cranberry juice. As the stewardess was preparing the drink, my Mom was shown in her mind's eye a scene of the stewardess dropping the cup all over her book. She had a feeling to move her book so that the juice would not hurt the book, but of course, she thought nothing of it. "My mind is being quite creative" she thought. "Of course that wouldn't happen". And do you know what happened? Exactly what she saw play out in her head. To my Mom, it seemed crazy that such a random event would be given to her to see before it happened. The spirit acts in mysterious ways. Why would she be given to see that inconsequential moment in time? I think that God is teaching us to trust in him, even in the smallest of situations. To trust even the tiniest promptings because you will be blessed for following them. But sometimes what you are given to see isn't an action you need to perform like moving a book, but sometimes it is just a little reminder that all things will work for your good. I experienced that kind of thing today. I ordered a dress for the Mormon Prom a couple weeks ago and I had been a bit nervous that it wouldn't come in time. The dance is this Saturday, the 21st, and as this week began I was feeling a little scared about having to go to Prom without a fancy dress. But in the back of my mind I had a feeling that Tuesday would be the day that it would come. I knew it, despite my nerves. Why didn't I just trust that feeling and let go of that worry that gripped my stomach? I realized I need to trust those feeling more often. Trusting in the Lord and what He tells me makes life a lot easier. Instead of thinking, "What if this dress doesn't come? What if I get it a day late? What will a wear? Will it fit? Are things going to work out?" I should make life a little easier on myself and let that worry go.


P.S. I will post pictures of the dress ASAP :)

Multiple Identities?

As I go through life's trials, I feel like I have two identities. One identity is the weak, emotional girl who acts impulsively and is easily hurt. She is fragile and has a hard time understanding what to do when everything and everyone is against her. She would act selfishly in order to get out of the mess she is in. She has a hard time forgiving others. She often feels stuck and doesn't know where to turn. This weak identity seems to have one strength, however. This identity is the one that is most often present and therefore displays its frailties more openly.

The second identity I feel inside of me is the strong spirit. This girl that can think straight and rolls with the punches. She keeps her chin up and understands that trials don't last forever, even when everything is going wrong. She gives of herself selflessly, even when it is against what she would want for herself. She forgives unconditionally. She always turns to Jesus Christ in times of need and prayer is a constant in her mind. This strong identity seems to have one weakness, however. This identity often lets it's feeble counter part do most of the thinking. I love the times I can tap into that strong spirit when I'm feeling so much of the feeble girl inside of me. Something that has helped me in the recent hard times I've faced is writing letters of encouragement to myself. It sounds like a crazy idea, but when I write, that strong spirit creeps to the surface and I find words to remind myself that I am of worth no matter how crummy I feel. The notes I get from myself remind me that I am doing the right thing even if my heart hurts. They remind me to have an eternal perspective and remember that the hard times I face here and now will be but a moment in the eternal scheme of things. How grateful I am for the knowledge that I really do have these two identities. I have that natural man inside of me that can be easily corrupted, but I also have that mighty spirit that has existed since the beginning of time. That spirit which knows God personally and is willing to tap it's owner on the shoulder and say, "Don't worry. Everything will be OK." I've come to the realization that if anyone is to progress in life, they must learn to actively seek the power of their inner spirit and trust in God in order to get through those trying times.