New Found Love

I think we all have the "perfect girl" (or boy) image in our minds. This image is what we see to be beautiful and talented and maybe even a goal of ours to reach. In my mind, one quality that the "perfect girl" has is the ability to sing and play the guitar. Recently, I haven't had a lot of homework and I've had a little bit more free time, so I decided that I was going to play the guitar. Now, I have tried and failed to learn to play multiple times, but this time, I was determined. I started teaching myself four days ago and can proudly say that I can play 10 chords! I really love playing the guitar. It will be fun to be the girl that can play for everyone singing around the camp fire at Girl's Camp or play at "coffee house" shows at school. The only thing I need to get passed are my bruised, cut, and sore fingers. I guess those fingers will just be evidence that I am not lying when I say that I have finally conquered some guitar chords. Oh, I lied. The fingers are not the only things I need to get passed. I also need to work on my fear of singing and playing for others...

Photo I took of my friend playing guitar.

P.S.

I love this picture. We look a little taken off guard, but it's good to know that even when we were off guard we were still together.

We Walked Side By Side

This day is a very important day to me. It could be because it's National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day or it's the day that Elvis Presley joined the army, although I never cared for raisinets or The King. I could venture to say that it's a Thursday which means tomorrow is Friday, but Thursdays come every week of the year so I wouldn't call them outstanding on the importance scale. I do have a chorus concert tonight but once again, there's something even more important. Okay, I'm done beating around the bush. On this day, March 24, 2011, my best friend is turning 21. I can't believe it. Mariah is 21. It seems like just yesterday that I was heading out the door with her to my first day of Kindergarten in Virginia. Oh, how the years have flown. I love so much about my best friend but I will just name a few. Actually, I'll name 21. 


These are not in any particular order. I am just writing them as they come to my mind. 


1. Did I mention this best friend of mine is also my sister? Isn't it handy that my best friend for eternity was born from the same womb? Some siblings don't have the close ties that I have with my sister, but I'm glad I can confidently say, "Our roots say we're sisters, our hearts say we're friends" author unknown. 

2. Mariah is one that never takes the same picture twice. Her face always displays a different crazy expression. Her philosophy: "Why have a ton of pictures of the same face? Isn't that boring?" To Dad, this is a frustrating philosophy being the constant photographer because he can never seem to get a decent, smiling picture out of her. To me, I find it quite amusing.


3. I love that Mariah is never scared of what other people think. She doesn't make decisions based on other people. She isn't afraid to do something crazy in public because she doesn't care for the judgments of others. She is just her. She's never faltering in being herself. I admire that about Mariah because I find it easy to be influenced by culture around me. It's funny to think that it takes courage to be yourself, but that, my friend, is the truth.

4. Mariah is full of ambition. When she makes a goal or has a dream, she stops at nothing until she reaches it. It takes a big heart to say to yourself, "It didn't work out this time, but I'll go for it and try again." It's so easy to give up and have the mind set of "not being good enough". When she had the idea that she wanted to do a study abroad in Thailand, I thought she was a little crazy, not going to lie. I was amazed at how resourceful she was. She entered contests and made a "kickstarter" project online. Many people have a barrier over their heads telling them their limit as to what they can do and accomplish. Mariah has taken the barrier away and however cheesy this is, she knows that the sky is the limit.


5. Like me, she's a hopeless romantic and like her, I love this painting: 

We discovered this painting in a little B&B in England.

6. Part of the reason I started this blog was because I want to get better at writing and guess who my inspiration is? Mariah. Every time I read any article, letter, wall post, etc. I can always hear her voice saying it. That is a skill that not all people have. I struggle to put my own voice into my writing. For me, there's me and then there's the writer, but for Mariah, they are one. Read her writing here.

7. She is my travel buddy until the end. We have traveled to many countries together and I wouldn't rather travel with anyone else. One of my favorite traveling experiences with her was going to England for summer 2007. Whether it was hiking through the Lake District or going on a ghost tour of Woolley, I enjoyed being with her the whole time. Hopefully, we have many trips to look forward to together. 


8. Mariah never complains. When it's freezing outside and she has no jacket, she won't complain at all. When she is tired from a long day she never whines about it. Although I wouldn't call myself a complainer, I could work on keeping my mouth shut when all I can think of is the negative. I remember the day she made the decision that she would stop complaining. I don't think I've hear a complaint out of her since. She's just happy with life no matter what comes at her.


9. I'll always be impressed at how bold Mariah is. She once wrote an essay about her goal of making bolder choices in life. She had a certain amount of time and a certain number of bold things she had to do and I was amazed at what kinds of things she did. She kidnapped a whole classroom and made them listen to her monologue or something. Ok, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details. Let's just say that you always know a person by the way they jump into water. She doesn't even feel the water's temperature before she runs and jumps. I want to take more chances in life and go for the "run and jump". 

10. I would call Mariah a free spirit. We all have a picture in our heads of the people we know and the picture in my head I have of Mariah is probably this one:

She is happy and ready to embrace life. No matter what hits her and no matter the clouds and the rain, she's always walking in sunlight.

11. I guess each of the things I love about Mariah are things I would like to become more of. She is such a great example to me. Although our Mom and Dad have always told both of us to read the Book of Mormon everyday, Mariah was the one that really influenced me to make the commitment to read everyday because I saw her doing it.

12. This is similar to the last one but another habit I observed in Mariah was daily journal writing. She would faithfully write everyday and add pictures and fun thoughts. And like the little puppy that I am, I followed her in that habit. Now I keep a daily journal with pictures in it. I will treasure my journals forever and they were brought to be because of the example I saw from Mariah. 

13. Mariah is so talented and puts all that she has into every role, every song, every dance, every speech, and every costume she does. She really throws herself into her character and makes up stories about the pasts of the characters she plays. I love that she puts her full heart and soul into acting because it really helps the audience believe what she is portraying. She has made me cry multiple times on stage. She might not even know that, but there's my confession.

She makes me laugh. This was from her role in "The Musical Comedy Murders of 1920". I might have the date wrong on that. 1920? 1950? 1940? I'm not sure.

14. I love that we can be crazy together. I loved driving to school with her during her senior year and blasting the music and talking. I can always be myself around her. I never have to hold back my feelings or feel embarrassed to speak my mind. We can each be who we really are when we are together. I can tell her about the boys in my life and giggle like a twelve-year-old girl, or I can have a deep gospel discussion with her. I found this photo and laughed (it was crazy hair day). We were and always will be bosom friends.

15. I can tell Mariah anything and I know that she will give me good advice. She always seems to know just exactly what to say and just exactly what I need to hear. I have called her many times in tears and she has helped me think straight. She is sympathetic but also straight forward. I can't believe how blessed I am to have her in my life.

16. Mariah is a die hard movie buff. Watching movies together is something I love to do. One movie that we both love to watch is "Spirited Away". It reminds me of a dream. Which brings me to my next point.


17. I love that Mariah is a dreamer. She dreams the most interesting things. I remember one time I was having a sleep over with her and the alarm started going off on her side of the bed so I sleepily turned over and told her to turn it off. Meanwhile, she was having a dream that the alarm was a bomb and I was yelling at her to turn it off. Not knowing what was happening in her subconscious, I was yelling, "Turn it off! Turn it off! Mariah, turn it off now!" while she was yelling "I can't! I don't know how! I can't!" I was so mad at her because all I wanted to do was sleep and all she wanted to do was shut the bomb off but she didn't know how. There are many other similar stories, I recall. Let's just say that having sleep overs with Mariah is never boring.

18. Many a inside joke has come from the funny accents that Mariah produces out of the blue. Perhaps my favorite is the Wisconsin accent: "Robert the Bruce! You get down here right now and eat your cheese cake!" If you didn't know already, the picture is of the statue of Robert the Bruce. He's a real person. She has such talent in making voices for different characters. While we were in England, we read the Narnia series out loud to each other and each character had a different voice. I loved the voice for Reepicheep the best. "Do I understand that you do not intend to give me satisfaction? Then take that—and that—to teach you manners—and the respect due to a knight—and a Mouse—and a Mouse's tail—" (VDT, Ch. 2) If you would like to hear her talent, you can always call her or our Mom or Dad because their answering machines are of her talking in different accents.


19. Mariah is a deep conversationalist. She loves to talk, write, and think about deep topics. I know it seems like I should write the most about her being deep and the deep things that we've talked about, but all I have to say is this: whoever marries her is going to have to be very talkative, smart and outgoing. He must be pretty special if he gets Mariah for a wife.

I love this picture (even if my eyes are closed). I feel at home when I hug my sister.

20. It's hard to find someone to talk to that is genuinely interested in everything you say. I feel loved when I talked to her. I feel like she wants to hear everything that comes out of my mouth. I feel special knowing she pays attention to me out of all people when I am just a little 16-year-old with little experience. But I don't think she just does that for me. She makes everyone feel loved when they talk to her. She is a constant listening ear that is never judgmental but always helpful. Mariah, thank you for being interested in me. I feel like a real somebody around you.

21. Ok, now I will explain the title of this post. When I was born and still in the hospital, Dad was at home with little 5-year-old Mariah. She was playing with her toys with Daddy in the room when she suddenly stopped and looked up at Dad and said, "Daddy? Did you know that Michaela and I walked side by side in the pre-mortal world". Of course our Dad was shocked. Where did she get this from? Dad asked, "What did you say?" Mariah earnestly repeated, "Did you know that Michaela and I walked side by side in the pre-mortal world?" As she said it the second time she took her middle and pointer finger on each hand to show how we walked together. Dad was speechless as she went on playing with her toys. Although this little Mariah probably didn't even realize what exactly she was saying, I believe what she said was true. I do believe that Mariah and I walked side by side in heaven before we came to earth. We didn't happen to be born to the same parents, we have been sisters for eternity. I love her so much. If she were a season, she would be summer. If she were a song, she would be Viva la Vida by Coldplay (classic). If she were a movie she would be "Pride and Prejudice". If she were a fruit she would be the sweetest raspberry. If she were a place she would be the Lake District in England or Edinburgh in Scotland. She is all my favorites wrapped up into one lovely package of sister and friend. I'm blessed to have her and I am so glad she was born.


Happy Birthday, Soul Sister.

Multiple Identities?

As I go through life's trials, I feel like I have two identities. One identity is the weak, emotional girl who acts impulsively and is easily hurt. She is fragile and has a hard time understanding what to do when everything and everyone is against her. She would act selfishly in order to get out of the mess she is in. She has a hard time forgiving others. She often feels stuck and doesn't know where to turn. This weak identity seems to have one strength, however. This identity is the one that is most often present and therefore displays its frailties more openly.

The second identity I feel inside of me is the strong spirit. This girl that can think straight and rolls with the punches. She keeps her chin up and understands that trials don't last forever, even when everything is going wrong. She gives of herself selflessly, even when it is against what she would want for herself. She forgives unconditionally. She always turns to Jesus Christ in times of need and prayer is a constant in her mind. This strong identity seems to have one weakness, however. This identity often lets it's feeble counter part do most of the thinking. I love the times I can tap into that strong spirit when I'm feeling so much of the feeble girl inside of me. Something that has helped me in the recent hard times I've faced is writing letters of encouragement to myself. It sounds like a crazy idea, but when I write, that strong spirit creeps to the surface and I find words to remind myself that I am of worth no matter how crummy I feel. The notes I get from myself remind me that I am doing the right thing even if my heart hurts. They remind me to have an eternal perspective and remember that the hard times I face here and now will be but a moment in the eternal scheme of things. How grateful I am for the knowledge that I really do have these two identities. I have that natural man inside of me that can be easily corrupted, but I also have that mighty spirit that has existed since the beginning of time. That spirit which knows God personally and is willing to tap it's owner on the shoulder and say, "Don't worry. Everything will be OK." I've come to the realization that if anyone is to progress in life, they must learn to actively seek the power of their inner spirit and trust in God in order to get through those trying times.

Incandescent Thoughts

I sit here staring at this blank page wondering how I should begin my first blog entry. Why, do you ask, do I start a blog? I guess I'll start with that. It's because teenagers are often thought of as having shallow thoughts, only thinking about the gossip floating around school or the next big party, and I would like to prove to you, whoever you are, that this average adolescent of 16 can have deep thoughts. Although not all my thoughts are always complex and intricate, I'd like to think that I have some individual thoughts that the average schmo does not. I'd like to think that when I sit down to write about my day, it doesn't look like every other teenagers'. I'd like to think that my brain can think up incandescent thoughts. Thoughts that are brilliant and shine, thoughts that could seem odd and questionable to some, thoughts that provoke trying discussions, and maybe even thoughts that one might never expect from this young teen who has to endure the trivial days in high school. Another goal of writing this blog is to improve upon my writing. I guess you could call writing a family trait that I never thought I had. Recently I discovered that even if I don't have the skills of some of my family members, I do have the desire. I think it's safe to say that desire is the first step to learning. Now, I will admit something before I leave you: I'm awful at conclusions. I guess that is something I will also have to improve upon. But for now, the end.

P.S. Feel free to comment